Signs That Adoption is Close

9 02 2018

During the last 21 months or so, the baby has been visiting his bio mom twice a week.

In the beginning, there’s always a parent aid involved. When parents make enough progress toward reunification, the parent aid role diminishes until parents finally get unsupervised visits which lead to over nights and even whole weekends with their child.

Our parent aid was involved until the very last visit. This woman, who was a stranger in the beginning, now feels kind of like family. She’s a woman who has been part of my son’s life since the beginning. A woman who made a tough, scary situation for me so much easier. A woman who likes hummingbirds.

So when I decided I wanted to make her a thank you gift for our last visit, I knew I wanted it to have hummingbirds πŸ™‚

Because I still want to vinyl all the things, I knew vinyl would be part of it.

Here’s what I came up with.

I liked the tile, but it’s big and bulky. Also, I wanted to color. So I took the image I put together for the tile and made it work for a card, too. My Silhouette cut out the vinyl for the tile then I tried really hard not to cuss (I was successful) while I tried to get the transfer tape to work for me. It finally did- mostly.

For the card, I printed the images and card design. I then had my Silhouette cut all the pieces out. I love dimension and knew I wanted it in this card. I used my markers and pencils to color bird and flowers then affixed the images on to the card.

Thanks for stopping by!

Xoxo

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And She Loved A Little Boy Very, Very Much…

3 02 2018

Tomorrow is our foster son’s last visit with his bio mom.

Last week we had court. A judge sat behind his bench waiting to decide the fate of three families, two sets of parents, and one little boy.

What had been anticipated to be a 1-2 day trial turned into a court session that ran over an hour behind then only lasted 30 minutes.

We lived miracles last week.

The day before court we had mediation with bio mom. She came into the meeting contesting the Termination of Parental Rights (TPR). But after speaking with us and I’m sure many sleepless nights considering her options, in the end, she decided to consent to the termination of her rights and agree to the adoption of her precious little boy.

I’m still unsure how to process that scene. We sat across the table and watched as the court document was signed. I still have trouble wrapping my head around the concept that a SIGNATURE is all it takes to sever those ties. It looks so simple, but was oh so amazingly swift and final.

I hugged her and thanked her. I acknowledged her sacrifice. I’ve learned that love comes in so many ways. She showed an act of love I’m not capable of.

We got word earlier that morning that bio dad’s attorney was asking for a continuance. Someone else hadn’t done their job correctly. So we expected the next morning to bring consent and TPR for bio mom and a continuance for bio dad.

While we waited. I sat with my son’s bio mom. She sat alone on one of the hardest days of her life and I couldn’t ignore that. Maybe I was the last person she wanted to see or talk to. I don’t know. But I asked questions about the children we share. How they got their names. Who they take after. What kinds of things she was going to do with the baby on his last few visits. Our parent aide has agreed to record her playing with the baby and sending me the videos so I can hold on to them for my children.

That hour they ran behind? Bio dad’s guardian ad litem and the court worked some things out and the GAL consented on bio dad’s behalf. I was surprised, too, when bio dad’s sister told me they were happy with how things were working out. She hugged me after court was done. I couldn’t believe we had the support from both sides of the family.

In the end, I couldn’t comprehend – I still can’t – the enormity of her loss. To gain my son, another mother LOST hers. But going through this journey with her for almost two years, the Lord has provided many opportunities for me to understand, to a small degree, the heart crushing cost to one mother so another could raise the child they both loved.

I wanted something special for this last visit. I used his footprints for this card andΒ  included the actual footprints with it so she has those too.

It’s so incredibly inadequate, but it’s all I have.





Mediation Day Tomorrow

10 01 2018

Tomorrow is mediation.
We’re praying for a miracle.
There’s a small, small possibility bio mom will consent after mediation. This is our prayer.

This can be a very hard day for the bio parents. They’re discussing what the future looks like without their child.

Emotions can make us build walls and block possibilities. We have the option of going in and not bending. We can choose to have the attitude of “too bad so sad for you”.

But one of the things the Lord has been trying to teach me the last few years is that LOVE is usually the best course. Hate, insecurity, anger, a lack of empathy – NONE OF THESE will help our cause.

It is a negotiation time, but my child is not a car. These people are not questionable salesmen. They’re parents losing their child.

So although love, empathy, understanding, and generosity don’t condone their actions of the past, they can certainly open doors to the future.

Here’s to open doors.





A Christmas Surprise REVEALED!

25 12 2017

So, I’ve done this thing for my kiddos where I’ve hand made stockings for them.

One of my 18yo daughters came to us a little later in her life, and I wanted to make sure she had a handmade stocking, too.

Unfortunately, life isn’t as simple as it once seemed. My body can no longer do the same things it used to, so it took me longer to get this done. I also had to think outside the box.

I can no longer do the needlework, but I can make my Silhouette Cameo sing and boy did it. Here’s the “symphony” we created together.

There’s a pattern for the stocking. I had my Cameo cut it out for me.

I pulled different files from the Silhouette Design store and created the scene which I cut out of HTV. It’s kind of hard to see it in this picture, but the HTV is glittery πŸ™‚

This was my first HTV project, so I was a little nervous about applying the vinyl to the stocking front. But I watched a lot of videos and did my research. I even cut out test pieces and applied them before I tried this. Luckily, it worked πŸ™‚

The next step was sewing the stocking pieces together so it actually held things. I was nervous, but I managed to get through it and the sewn part turned out better than I thought it would. But I didn’t have very high expectations of myself, so that made it easier πŸ˜‰

Let me just stop here and say, I am not a seamstress. My husband has actually used the words, “I rue the day I bought you that thing.” (Meaning the sewing machine).

After creating the stocking I hand stitched the bling around the top and closed up that top seam (I left it until last to make sure I had enough space for her name. Math and numbers aren’t my strong suit). Last, I added a few sparkly things to the snowflakes and parts of the scene.

She saw it for the first time this morning. The look on her face was worth all the recuts and all the extra rolls of HTV I had to buy because I kept messing up.

She was truly surprised and really liked it.

To me, that’s the best part of Christmas. Giving of yourself and seeing someone’s joy later. And that giving can come in many forms, not just a glittery stocking. AND, even better, it’s something we can do all year.

So Merry Christmas my friends. May you feel the love of those around you and give it freely to those whose paths you cross.

Xoxo

Links to project pieces:

Stocking pattern (there are directions, but I did my own thing.)

Church, Snowflake scroll, Saying





MRI Results Are In

5 12 2017

I called for the results. I was too nervous to wait much longer. And today was the day the radiology nurse suggested I call if I hadn’t heard anything. So really, I did a pretty good job waiting πŸ™‚

So, the results: The MRI is stable. No change. We still have the same abnormalities we did last year. She did say that the regression we saw could be indicative of autism and suggested we have him evaluated at one of the other clinics there.

A couple of things to note:

First – never ONCE did I think our results would be worse than before. It never crossed my mind. If you read the first blog post about this scan, I was actually a little concerned the opposite would be true. I’m SO grateful that this possibility was not the outcome. I never would have seen it coming.

Second – little man has been on autism watch for the last 6 months or so. So this wasn’t a surprise. We don’t have a name for what’s going on with him, but we have symptoms, and we’ve been treating those almost since the beginning.

Third – our pediatrician and I have already been talking about taking little man and his 6yo brother to the genetics clinic to see if they can find some answers for both boys. I would LOVE to see a brain scan of the 6yo to see if it looks anything like his little brother’s, but they don’t let parents request those πŸ˜‰

So, no miracle brain mending yet, but that’s okay. I’m more at peace with this outcome than either of the other two. I think part of that is just the comfort of knowing that what we’re dealing with hasn’t really changed. And although we don’t know what we’re dealing with exactly, we know the symptoms and we have the services in place to deal with those.

Thanks for coming along on this crazy ride with us.

xoxo





Can We Put that Miracle on Hold?

1 12 2017

Im sitting in the MRI waiting room.

My son is sedated and having his brain scanned. We’re looking for more answers or clarification of information we already have.

I’m trying not to stress about the results of my foster son’s second MRI.

But not for the reasons you might think.

Our foster son’s adoption case hinges heavily on the previous MRI which showed some abnormalities.

What if the scan comes back normal? This could potentially give the parent’s attorney a little more ammunition to dissuade the judge from granting the termination of parental rights when he hears the case at the end of January.

A normal MRI also leaves us with more questions. It actually takes away possible answers. I mean, we kind of have an explanation for his multiple delays. We’re just not sure how/if it applies yet. We’re still in the information gathering period.

But something is going on with my son. The neurologist listed his diagnosis as global delays. Not only do we have delays – some profound – we’ve seen regression in some areas as well this year.

I’m advocating my butt off for him trying to get him seen so we can unravel what’s going on. Then I can make sure we’re meeting all of his needs correctly. The abnormal MRI from last year can be a significant puzzle piece.

So I’m conflicted.

I would love to see a miracle. But I dread it a little at the same time. And it stinks that I’m sitting here in an empty waiting room worried about seeing a miracle. Who does that?

But I believe in a God of miracles. So I’m also working on moving the fear out and making room for the faith. Faith that whatever happens, it’s in His hands.

No matter the results, we’ll navigate them and I’ll continue to advocate for my son.





Family Court Business

28 11 2017

Tomorrow morning we have family court. We’re hoping it’s the last one before the TPR (termination of parental rights) trial at the end of January.

As always, a mountain of butterflies are swirling in my tummy. I hate court dates. It’s not likely that anything will change, but it’s so hard to predict a broken system.

Wish us luck!